


Week-end with Jenna, the return

by Strange_doll_from_Hell



Series: Family [2]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Fluff, Friendship, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Lovecraftian Monster(s), M/M, Minor Character Death, Polyamory Negotiations, Violence, everybody need a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:53:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strange_doll_from_Hell/pseuds/Strange_doll_from_Hell
Summary: The sequel to the first chapter called week-end with Jenna... But this baby is so huge, it needs its own story. A story about family and horror.
Relationships: Constantin/Jeremy, Jenna/Nadja (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja
Series: Family [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708681
Kudos: 8





	1. Another documentary

**Author's Note:**

> So I really wanted to write this story and I'm pretty proud of it (we'll see if I'm right about that). Unfortunately, because I finished after the beginning of season 2, some details don't work anymore but it was too big to change (so everybody believes in ghosts and Nadja speaks Romanian rather than Greek). I'll take this into account for the next stories but I ask you to just accept these small differences for now. Notes and translation at the end as usual. Thank you for your time.

-Can I ask you a question? Shanice asked.  
-It's a double rehearsal, you've already asked a question, says Juliet who draws at the table.  
-And it's rude to listen to other people's conversations, Shanice replied.  
-We're in the same room, Juliet replied.  
-Juliet please, ask Jenna.  
-Sorry for interrupting, finish what you wanted to say.  
-So, JENNA, what are you gonna do about tonight?  
-Tonight? You need the room so you can have quality time with Josh?  
-Have you really forgotten? But you're close. You're supposed to help Josh with his documentary tonight!  
-That's tonight?  
-Yeah, he got a call confirming that he had access to the carnival. So I don't know what your plan is with Alessa...  
-I'm not gonna let Nadja and Laszlo down.  
-Okay, well, get someone to babysit her then. Jonathan seemed to like her...  
-Jonathan told me he had a project to finish with Cheyenne for their engineering classes.  
-Ok, so maybe we ask Jonathan for some DVDs for her, leave your computer and order her Chinese for the evening...  
-She's 7, not 12! What if there's an emergency? The carnival is far from the residence.  
-You're not going to drag her with you, are you? You promised!  
-If I may offer my humble opinion now that you're talking about my fate," Juliet began. -I can come, I'd be sage comme une image and I might even help.  
-You're going to help? Says Shanice, with a drawish tone of voice.  
-Yeah, you say you're making a documentary. There are people who have been shooting a documentary at our place for a few months...

Shanice rolled her eyes, but Jenna saw her chance:

-She's right, they really do have a home team shooting!  
-What? Why? Who?  
-They were approached for a documentary. Heu...alternative live style , I think? But seriously, when it became clear that I was going to be there a lot, they made me sign a contract.   
-So what you're saying is that you have access to people who could help Josh with his documentary? says Shanice with a hopeful voice.  
-Um... 

Damn it, she never meant to imply that.

-Don't the teacher have to grade it first? try Jenna.  
-Sure, but if it's good, then the team can recommend a distributor.

It was reasonable, caught himself thinking Jenna.

-No problem. But we have to bring her with us.  
-Fine, said Shanice with an expression that said the opposite.  
-Yeah!" exclaimed the child.  
-You're going to have to be nice to people, it's important to them, and dress warmly, exclaim Jenna.  
-I promise on my ladyship's honour and I have my new gloves with me. They're made of leather of squeaker, Juliet says excitedly.  
-Squeaker?  
-Boars that have never been born, explain Juliet.  
-Of course, she have gloves made from fetal pig , Shanice mumbled.

******

-Josh!  
-Shanice, mon muse! said the young man who was waiting for them in front of the carnival.  
Both proceeded by kissing for a long time while the rest of the group waited.

-Why are you allowed to exchange germs with your girlfriend and not me? ask the only other boy.  
-Because I'm able to multitask Chris," Josh replied.  
-I'm multi-tasking too, smiled one of the girls. -You have no idea what I can do with my two hands and my mouth!   
-You're ambidextrous? ask Juliet.  
-Oh Fuc...fudge! Didn't see you there! Whose little sister are you? asked the girl.  
-No one, Jenna's dating my mother," explained the child, pointing to the vampire.  
-Oh, hello! said the girl as she noticed her. -I'm Tatianna, but my friends call me Ty. Are you a friend of Shanice's?

Ty had long blond hair, dark eyes with heavy make-up and an open coat revealing an impressive cleavage. 

-Yes, I'm Jenna. And this is Juliet here. I promised I'd have her for the weekend, and I didn't want to...  
-Hey that's cool! Life happens, continued the young man. He also had blond hair but clear eyes and was as tall as he was muscular. -I'm Chris, my mom was a teenage mother, too. That's nice of you to help you're girlfriend.  
-And you know Emma, Shanice concluded.   
-Ye..  
-No, said Emma.  
-We're in three of the same classes, Jenna says.  
-Oh...Sorry.

Emma was pale, with pink hair, large dark circles, and a huge dark jacket that made her look even thinner. 

-So Shanice explained your situation to me, Josh started. -I understand, although I think it's grossly unprofessional...   
-I'm sorry, my...  
-The apology doesn't change anything. But helping people is a good way to get them to forgive in the first place," Josh continued coldly.  
-Muse is feminine, you're supposed to say ma muse, not mon muse, said Juliet.  
-No one asked you and my pronunciation's fine.  
-I'm trying to help you not to make a fool out of yourself, Juliet retorted.   
-Oh because you speak French?  
-Oui, ce n'est pas parfait mais c'est mieux que le tien, enfoiré de fils de chienne, Juliet smiles.

Josh understood enough of the sentence to know she was insulted him. But Shanice stopped him before he did anything. 

-Remember, you need one more person and if you can tolerate Jeliza-Rose here, you can try to distribute your documentary. 

Shanice had whispered the line, but thanks to the vampires' super-senses, she might as well have whispered it in Jenna's ear as well. 

-You're tolerated, so try to be polite. You want to be responsible for blowing everyone's plan?" Josh continued.  
-No, Juliet answered.  
-Dude, she's like six years old, leave her alone, said Chris.  
-Apparently we're not you're first documentary crew, Ty continued. -How would you like to see what it's like on the other side of the camera?

Juliet nodded enthusiastically.

-Cool, so you're gonna help us then! smile Ty. -Come with us!

Jenna had a grateful smile for the couple.

-So we're going? ask Emma.  
-Right away," said Josh as he walked towards the gate.  
-You need the keys or you need to be invited! Says Juliet.   
-The person on the phone told me that the gate would be unlocked and I was free to bring as many people as I needed.

Jenna felt some kind of heaviness leaving her. So she could walk in.

-That's... very generous, says Emma. -What's the catch?  
-Free publicity, says Shanice. -The documentary is about abandoned places, a small amusement park is perfect and could benefit from the nostalgia effect.  
-What do you think, kiddo? Chris asked.   
-I've never been to a amusement park. Is it like a carnival? ask Juliet.   
-Less chic and mystical but the concept is the same: rides, junk food and scams, said Emma.   
-Emma, just because you're dead inside doesn't mean everyone else has it!  
-Fuck you!  
-Everybody, can we just focus on the important thing, which is the documentary? says Josh dryly.  
-Good ideas, said Jenna who wanted just to finish it. -Josh, how can I help you?

*******

Being a slave, it seems, was the answer. Working as an assistant turned out to be nothing more than doing everything that was vaguely annoying to Josh. Shanice takes care of the narration stating the facts in a tragic and poetic tone. She had nothing but encouragement from her boyfriend. Ty and Chris seemed more enthusiastic about dragging Juliet with them, despite their work as cameramen and sound gal. Emma dragged for example with her paw on her side for her job has a cinematography. 

Jenna found herself in a situation that reminded her of Guillermo's fate, so she decided that after that she would bring coffee and pastries every time she went to the vampire house for him.

-Jenna, I need you to push the mirrors to avoid camera glare.  
-Sure...Jenna said uncomfortably, hoping that no one would see her lack of reflection.

Jenna grabbed the mirror (thank you vampire force) and started pushing it. She thought there was something wrong with the mirror. It was probably just habit, but she realized she had a reflection...

There's a vampire Jenna watching him as surprised as she is. Then she noticed that her skin seemed to be swollen, she touched it as if by reflex but felt nothing. Her double began to peel off her own. 

******

-So we could do some nice shots with the background there," Chris started to say.  
-For Josh or me? Ty asked.  
-Are you making a documentary too? Juliet asked.  
-No, just my instagram.   
-What is a instagram?  
-It's a site where you can post photos and videos with comments. People can also follow and leave messages.   
-Oh, other than Colin Robinson and Guillermo, we's not really into computers in my family.  
-You still want to try?  
-Yes!

Ty picked up her phone and started filming them:

-Hi everyone, stuck in a musty amusement park for my session project in the middle of the night but good news : I have my boo with me and my own british intern for the evening. Say hello, Juliet!  
-Enchanté to meet you Instragram people!  
-Yeah, she speaks French too!   
-Oui, je parle un tout petit peu de français.  
-Isn't she lovely?  
-Girls, come here!" Chris shouted suddenly.

******

The reflection ripped off her skin, revealing an monstrous bat beneath it. In her panic, Jenna pushed the mirror if it fell to the floor. Thanks to her powers, it didn't break.

-Damn it, Jenna! scream Josh.  
-I'm sorry, I thought I saw...  
-I don't give a damn! People let us film for free, I don't want to have to pay because you didn't pay attention!  
-Josh! Leave her alone, she was really sick this semester! Her heart even stopped beating! Shanice defended her.

Jenna was terrified, but she still managed to find the focus to hypnotized Josh. Always try to steer them towards something they want, that's what makes it possible to do what you want with it. 

-I'm sorry, but shouldn't we keep filming and be done by morning?  
-Yes. Finish the documentary, said in a monotone voice Josh.

He walked away, leaving Shanice and Jenna alone.

-Are you really okay?  
-I... I don't know. Look, I just saw a shadow play and... I'm sorry. It will't happen again.  
-All right, just look out for yourself.  
-Sure, don't worry.

Jenna wasn't sure if Shanice believed her, but she left her alone. Immediately, despite her discomfort, she tried to call Nadja. She needed to know if it was normal. Well, normal for her. 

******

-I found the treasure cave, Emma smiles proudly.

She was sitting in a stan, eating popcorn.

-I wouldn't do that if I were you, says Chris.  
-Why? It's not like they miss a little popcorn, right?

Juliet slowly approached the stan to help herself, too.

-Because if it's like the cinema where I work, he picks up the old discarded popcorn and puts it back in the box," explained the young man.  
-Eww!" said Juliet, backing away sharply.

Emma didn't seem too bothered by this new information.

-What's the big deal? It's no worse than all the chemicals in it. Anybody want a slushie?  
-No thanks, Ty said. -But I'd like that, for example!

She pointed at a giant pink hamster stuffed animal.

-Whatever my babe wants, my babe gets it, smile Chris.

Already, he's on his way to the stan to get the stuffed animal.

-Are you going to steal it? Juliet asked.  
-Of course not. I'll put the price of a try on the counter. And just take it straight up. You got one minute to tell me if you want one too.  
-I want the owl with a bowtail! Please.

Ignorant they, Emma was going for a well-deserved cherry slushie. The machine started up and began to spill its contents. As the young girl watched the whirlpools in the machine, a shape was formed in it. At first she thought it was a cluster of sugar or dye before the two balls turned out to be a pair of eyes.

*******

Jenna, Shanice and Josh heard a scream and rushed to its source. 

Jenna was still having a little trouble controlling her powers and arrived a good length ahead of the other two, found Emma in the fetal position in the feeding stan while Ty tried to calm her down. 

-What happened?  
-Emma thinks she has...  
-I know what I saw!It had eyes in the slush machine! Emma yelled.

So at least one other person had had a strange experience other than her, Jenna realized.

-Can I get some details, please... started Jenna before she was interrupted by Shanice who had just arrived with Josh.  
-What's one of the medications you're taking...  
-Fuck, are you serious? There's a difference between the shit I sell and the stuff I take my REAL medical problems that this country is too stupid to help me with assurance! 

She was interrupted again by loud noises that startled them all. Juliet had climbed up on the counter and put a big ladle into the machine and tried to search the liquid with it.

-What the hell are you doing! Josh screamed.  
-I'm looking for a foreign object. My mother had an uncle who made homemade beer and had his cauldron was in a chicken coop. One time a chicken fell in it and the customer got a nasty surprise when he opened the barrel.  
-Okay, why not? A pigeon or a squirrel could've... started Ty before Emma cut him.  
-No, it wasn't the same size! That was bigger!  
-Well, I'll have gonna to give look," said Chris, taking the ladle from Juliet's hands, who came down without asking for the rest. 

Everyone waited for his report which arrived after a few minutes.

-There's nothing there. I don't know what to tell you Emma, you can look if you want but there's nothing there that looks like an eye.  
-But I saw it!  
-You're tired. You said so yourself. It's dark and it's still a bit creepy in here. It's really crazy to think that you could have thought you saw them? Shanice asked.  
-Well, I guess...  
-Or when you've reacted badly to whatever's in that machine. I don't know. Maybe they leave the cleaners in overnight to save time and deter thieves, did you think of that? Josh asked.  
-No, recognized Emma.  
-That's what I thought. Maybe you could all stop messing around and try some serious work? We got in for free because of a nice employee, so maybe...  
-An employee? ask Jenna. -Shouldn't it be the landlord so we can be here?  
-I...I said employee, but the guy's got to be more than that! Look, I haven't explained it, but I'm going to: I asked if we could film here and I was told no. Later, someone else called back saying that they had been explained the situation and that he was sympathetic to our cause. He promised me he'd leave the gate open, that we could come back with as many people as we needed and use the place for filming, but that it had to be tonight but only TONIGTH! So can we get back to work please?

Everyone accepted with good or bad grace before we get back to work. Jenna did her best to stay away and discreetly talk to Juliet.

-Juliet, this is serious. Did you see anything weird?  
\- I don't know. I didn't see anything, but I feel something. That would have been nothing.Did you see something?   
-Yes.  
-Did you do something wrong?  
-What?  
-Well, Emma stole food. Maybe it's a ghost of an angry employee who whant punisher her?   
-I just moved a mirror, why would the ghost punish me for that?  
-I don't know, technically Chris cheated so that me and Ty would have stuffed animals, so...But ghosts don't exactly make sense, either. Do you think there's sage here? I think you're supposed to make it burn, ignore the spirits as much as possible or just give them vampire energy to get rid of it.   
-I'm still gonna try and call your mom just in case.   
-Okay, but I'm not sure she's answering you. Their meetings are really intense.

The two of them leave to join the rest of the group.

******

Jenna tried every opportunity to call Naja, but it always went to voicemail. She assumed it was normal under the circumstances, but it was still frustrating. They probably need to take breaks to stay hydrated or change their protection, right?

-Jenna? Jenna! Are you listening to me or what?  
-Uh... what? I'm sorry, I...  
-I don't need your sorry, I need you to be useful!" Josh got angry.  
-Of course, how can I be of assistance?  
-First by listening! Second, I need an image of the haunted house...

Jenna clearly heard Emma whine. 

-So everyone was going to put you where I need you. And maybe you're gonna be helpful, Josh said, pointing to Juliet.  
-It's no longer legal to make children work, says Juliet.  
-Child actors are a thing, aren't they? And it's a documentary, you should know it's a service. Anyway, I just want you to push the door there. Since you're small, we won't see and it'll be easier than with a technical effect. 

-Won't it be a little heavy? Jenna asked.  
-I can do it, says Juliet.

Not even sure she's addressing her.

-Alright, I'm gonna show you where you stand, and when Shanice signals, you push, understand?  
-Of course, it's not metaphysics, says Juliet.   
-Josh! Do you...  
-And you, Jenna, I need you to make sure the equipment doesn't get wet. The wagons are on some kind of slippery slope with water. I don't want the school's equipment destroyed by something that's probably worth even less. 

Jenna loved her power of invisibility. He made her feel like Harry Potter. But she wished she could control the fact that people noticed her the way she controlled him.

Depressed, she still carried out what was asked of her. She was on all fours in a haunted house that smelled like death in musty water. She'd rather not know what was going on in there. At least when you're dead, nothing worse can happen to you, right? 

Jenna suddenly slipped and found herself on her stomach and wet. How does that even happen when she has super senses? Jenna then noticed the spot next to her. It looks like a tulip buble. How did that get there? She was close enough to see that this plant had managed to grow in spite of everything between the lathe's mockery. Pretty cool. But the plant did not give her back her respect. No sooner had Jenna approached for observe it, she seemed to tremble a wind that touched her alone. And plant opened pouring its pollen into his face. Pollen so the smell is terribly reminiscent of garlic. Jenna screamed.

******

Juliet was screwed over. Ce connard of Josh had sent her there knowing she couldn't push it alone.Bloody asshole! And now she was gonna have to turn back or wait for help. Part of her just wanted to make the worst tantrum known to man, but Jenna and her other friends made her hesitate.   
She might as well just convince Jenna to kill Josh later, right? And yes, Shanice would be sad, but she can do better. Even if she never finds anyone, she can have a cool career that's more satisfying in the end. 

Her thinking was interrupted by a scream o f horror. 

-Jenna? Jenna! realized the child before running to the door he opened for her. 

******

It burns so hot, like bee attacking her. And the smell like sulphur, with the public toilet of an outdoor concert and rotting meat. Jenna was just in such a panic that she wasn't thinking straight. She used her speed to flee to the others, screaming.

Fortunately, vampirism hadn't made her any less clumsy and she started on equipment before others noticed. 

-Jenna! Jenna! What's wrong?

Jenna stayed on the floor while the pain went away. Her body needed to heal. She ends up looking up,finding Shanice and Juliet on top of her, trying to find a way to explain what happened: 

-I...I...a plant, spores...it burned.  
-Shit, there's probably some kind of mold, says Chris. -We should get out, Josh.  
-Well, anyway, between her scream and the opening of the door with the kid's expression, it's a beautiful accident. Go find Ty and Emma.

She doesn't know when, she doesn't know how, but she's going to drink him, that idiot, Jenna promises herself.

-Show me your face, ask Shanice.   
-It's no big deal...  
-Then why did you scream like that? Shanice screamed angrily.  
-Surprised, fearful, ask for help, warn others of the danger, choose your poison! said Juliet with cold anger.   
-Juliet, that's enough, Shanice was just scared for me. Didn't you? ask Jenna.  
-...Yes.   
-Well, let me get a minute and then we'll see if we can catch up.  
-Fine.

Shanice left them and Jenna took the opportunity to explain to Juliet what had happened.

-So a plant spit garlic and silver out at you? ask Juliet.  
-No, just garlic... I think.  
-No, garlic stinks and itches. For it to burn you like it should, it has to be silver and holy objects.   
-If I burned for real.  
-What?  
-Wounds caused by silver heal slower, don't they?  
-It's not like three days, but yeah, especially if you didn't drink blood afterwards. You'd will still have injuries.  
-Can a ghost make you hallucinate?   
-I don't know, admittedly uncomfortable Juliet. -He can push the doors open, for instance.  
-What?  
-The door was too heavy for me but when you screamed, I ran to it anyway and it opened for me. I probably would have hurt myself if he hadn't.  
-So he has something against me, probably Emma, but he doesn't want to hurt you and it's probably the same with everyone else. What she and I have in common what you, Ty, Chris, Shanice and Josh, don't have? It's not the gender, it's not the race, it's not my sexual orientation, it's not my behavior,...I don't get it.  
-He's a ghost, they're more or less like senile old people trapped in their memories with nervous breakdowns when you bother them. Looking like someone he didn't love when he was alive would be enough, explain Juliet.  
-I'll try calling Nadja again. We'll join the others, but if you want...  
-Nan, it's not me he's after. We're only leaving if you can, Juliet smiles.   
-I'll be fine, thanks to your mother, I'm strong and resilient like no one else.

*****

Surprisingly, nothing really horrible will happen next. In fact, things almost seemed to be going too well. Everything always seemed to have the best circumstances for them. Damn it, Shanice found a $100 on the floor! Still, Jenna asks Chris to show her the scene he had filmed in the haunted house and yeah, a wise eye notices that the door opened a little before Juliet reached it. Okay, so that thing didn't want to hurt her, even knowing that, Jenna would want to talk to Nadja. The world had gotten so strange since she was a vampire. It was beautiful and fascinating, but Jenna understood that her predatory stance helped a lot. For all she knew, it might have been much worse in the dark. 

Jenna was brought out of her reflection by the child's shriek of joy:

-Did you hear that?  
-That's music," Emma realized.  
-I think that's where it's coming from," said Ty, pointing to a spot in the diection of the music.  
That's all it took for Juliet to go running in the direction.

-Hey, wait! Jenna screamed but Juliet didn't listen to her.  
-That's why you wouldn't have brought a child, Josh said coldly.

I didn't have so many other options Jenna wanted to yell.

-I guess we're going on an adventure," Chris laughed before going for a run as well.

*****

The sound of the bat's squeaking began to rise in depth to become vampire screams as Nadja and Laszlo returned to their humanoid form after their orgasm. 

-L'amour après la guerre, nothing is better, smiles satisfied Laszlo.  
-I'm still angry with you, said Nadja.  
-Free at you to punish me as much as you need to," Laszlo mocked.  
-I don't think it really helps with you," replied his wife. -Did you hear anything?  
-I think someone opened the door, but I was a little busy at the time.  
-No, I maybe I think a missed a call," said Nadja as she walked to pick up her phone and put it in the mouth of a taxidermy bear.

-So?  
-I missed a dozen calls from Jenna, said horrified Nadja.


	2. The Hearse Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Nandor, Laszlo and Colin don't believe in ghosts but it was too late when I saw the episode and I didn't want to rewrite everything. I'm sorry again.

They all easily catch up with Juliet who had stopped in front of the source of the music: A carousel and not just any carousel! This merry-go-round was huge, vintage and in perfect condition, filled with real and fantastic animals. The music and lights worked, but the merry-go-round was motionless. 

-Damn, it's beautiful, said Ty.   
-How does a small amusement park afford something like this? ask Emma.  
-It probably dates back to the time when the park was full of hope and prestige before the society crushed it," says Josh.  
-I sense someone has a ideas," Chris laughed.  
-You bet. It's perfect for the metaphor of the movie.Get on it! Says Josh to Juliet.  
-No, wait...Jenna began, but was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone.  
-Hi.  
-Jenna, what's going on, sweetie?  
-Nadja! I'm so happy to hear from you!  
-Get to the point!" Laszlo shouted. -You didn't call us 11 times just to hear my wife's voice!  
-Laszlo! But he's right. What's going on?  
-We're at the amusement park...

Jenna heard the couple sigh in her heart and Nadja asked for the softer tone:

-You wanted our permission to bring her in? Is that all you wanted? Oh, baby, if nothing. We trust you. Besides, I've already been there. It's kind of boring, but I can see the appeal for a kid.  
-When did you go? Asks Laszlo.  
-The night you were captured by the animal control.  
\- That's where you here, that night?  
-Yeah, I thought it was like a freak show, but it's just rides, rigged games and fried food. Why? Nadja nervous.  
\- For nothing, I just would have gone with you if you'd told me. With or without the kid. Making love on a roller coaster is still on my bucket list.  
-Uh... thank you Nadja and Laszlo, I think it's dangerous. But no, I call because there's some weird stuff going on. Juliet thinks it might be a ghost?  
-How severe is the haunting? ask Nadja.  
-Um... it seems to be mostly illusions and moving stuff. He's just after me and another girl. For the rest of the group, including Juliet, it goes from being uninterested to being nice.   
-You and that girl, what are you in ... started Laszlo.  
\- Nothing! Actually, maybe one or two thing, but nothing that someone else doesn't have, too.   
-Maybe you remind him of someone he didn't love when he was alive? suggests Laszlo.  
-Juliet said that, too.  
-Try if you can find some sage, salt, basil, lemon, eucalyptus or angelica and burn it, it might help, says Nadja.  
-Ok, I will try.

It sounded like her mother's essential oils, but Jenna gave a little more credit to the supernatural creature that her mother's naturopathic friend.

-Are you sure you're going to be okay? Nadja insisted.

Jenna turned her head to see Juliet, who amused me among the animals on the merry-go-round, singing something. 

-Yeah. Hey, you want a video? To see that everything's fine?  
-Do you want to bring us a tape? asked Nadja.  
-No, I mean with my phone.  
-Oh, why not? Laszlo asked.  
-No, my screen is broken," replied Nadja.  
-Send her to Gizmo! He's got a phone! Laszlo suggested.  
-No problem.

*****

After hanging up, Jenna headed to the merry-go-round to join the others. 

-Once it's edited, it'll be perfect! Says Josh satisfied.  
-Please tell me you're gonna cut her song! Shanice whines.  
-Why do you want it cut? Juliet asked, stopping singing. -I sing perfectly and it's the melody of this song that the merry-go-round is playing.  
-Can you not be creepy for 15 minutes?  
-What are you singing, Juliet? Jenna asked as she started filming.   
-The Hearse song, Juliet said proudly before resuming. -And the flames rise up to drag you down into the fire where you will drown your skin melts off as you descend And Satan tears you limb from limb your suffering will never end!

-Oh, that's... original.

Jenna started filming anyway.

*****

-Really, Guillermo? Nandor asked frustrated.  
-I'm sorry, master, said Guillermo stuck in the sex net.

Nandor sighed but began to try to help his familiar. At the same time, the ringing of Guillermo's phone was heard to announce a text message.

-Who's this? Colin asked, startled the other two.  
-Colin Robinson! Weren't you playing cards with the others? Nandor asked.  
-Jeremy and Constantin are so into each other, they can ignore me.  
-It was that good? asked Nadja who arrived with her husband.  
-I guess so.  
-It doesn't matter, Laszlo cut them off. -Jenna sent us a video of our bantling.   
-Why not send it to Nadja's? Nandor asked.  
-I broke the screen on the Baron's last night, as the rest still works, I didn't change it.  
-Ah, I see.

Without further ado, Nandor took the phone from Guillermo's pocket and ask him: 

-Play it.

Still half caught up in the sex net, Guillermo still did it anyway. The video played with Laszlo, Nandor and Colin smiling tenderly. But not Nadja and Guillermo. In fact, Guillermo's heart started beating fast enough to get Nandor's attention.

-What's wrong? he asked.  
-Nadja? asked Laszlo who had noticed his wife's discomfort.  
-There's no carousel in this amusement park.

*****

Juliet walks among the beasts of the merry-go-round and decides to find a suitable ride. Horses dressed in armour from all countries and periods, deer and elk, a sea horse, wild and domestic felines, crocodiles and alligators that the artist had been able to differentiate, a rabbit dressed like one from Alice's in Wonderland, a unicorn, an elephant calf, a surprisingly realistic bee and butterfly, a black goat with three red eyes, a frog as a jester costume (someone must have been a fan of Edgar Allan Poe), a donkey with wings, birds (flybird, peacock, ostrich), a panda, a giraffe, a dolphin with its baby. ..But Juliet ignored them all for the king of the parade.

A dragon much larger than any other animal, big enough for at least two adults to sit on its back without difficulty. It had silver-blue scales, horns, claws, and many golden jewels including a crown. The artist had presented it with its eyes closed, one paw in the air and the other at rest. Only the upper part of his body was exposed, the rest joined the floor of the merry-go-round which had been painted to imitate water. In some places you could see the lines implying that it was his long body and around the central column of the merry-go-round, his tail wrapped all around.  
Now that was a good-looking beast, Nandor would approve. Juliet put her hand against his flank so she could climb on it.

-Juliet, get down, that's enough!" Jenna shouted.  
-Just one turn, please!  
-No, we're probably not even allowed to operate the machines.   
-All right," said Juliet sulking.

Juliet wanted to leave, but when she tried to remove her hand, it stay stuck.

*******

-What do you mean, it doesn't have one? We can see it clearly! ask Laszlo.  
-I walked around this place two weeks ago and it didn't have a carousel!  
-Could it have been under repair? Laszlo tried.  
-Did you see how bloody big that is? Nadja gets angry.  
-Guillermo," said Nandor, turning to his familiar. -Why is your heart beating so fast?  
-This is silly, master...   
-Never mind, explain it anyway. The worst thing that can happen is that we'll laugh at you, Nandor insisted.   
-I've... I've seen this ride before.   
-All right, so you're saying that this attraction has always been there...  
-No! I saw it when I was a kid visiting family in Brooklyn. At about 25 years old.  
-Brooklyn? Jenna's still in Staten Island! said Nadja.  
-I know, I don't think she's lying but it's the same one, same animals, same music, it the same! I swear on the bible... 

The vampires growl.

-I'm sorry, my own grave?   
-Colin Robinson, you know all about useless details, could it just be an identical model? ask Nandor.   
-No, in the United States, there are only three possible models for carousels: Philadelphia, Coney Island or County Fair. This one looks like none of them. Looks like a custom order. Of the unique models known...  
-That's enough, thank you! Nandor cut him off. -Guillermo?   
-Yes, master?  
-Did something happen while you were on that merry-go-round?  
-I've never been on it.  
-Why?   
-Because I was afraid of it.  
-And you were scared of a bunch of animals running around in a circle because...? continued to interrogate Nandor.   
-Because they looked weird! Like they were almost alive! The worst thing was that dragon! It looked like Satan! What kind of kid wants to sit on that? I was sure it was El coco in disguise! Guillermo defended himself. -My cousins laughed at me but I was so scared that my abulita decided that we were all going home. They're still giving me shit about it.  
-Well, you were scared of a stupid wooden animal, Laszlo replied.  
-Yes, he was afraid of a stupid wooden animal that shouldn't be there! Said frustrated Nadja.  
-To be honest, they could have sold it. The park wasn't in its prime, said Guillermo.  
-The one we're talking about either and even bought at a loss, it would be expensive to transport and remount. They would at least have advertised, Colin says.  
-Not to mention the haunting that Jenna saw, says Nadja.  
-What?

Guillermo then saw in his master's eyes something that he had only seen when he had almost been eaten by the vampire council. Pure terror.

-Nadja, was this haunting almost exclusively trying to chase Jenna out of the park but not the rest of the people?  
-She and another girl but not the others, confirmed Nadja.  
-Nandor, what's going on? Laszlo asked.

Nandor didn't answer Laszlo and continued talking to Nadja:

-Call Jenna right now, tell her to find an excuse to leave alone with Juliet quietly but quickly.

******

Other children would have screamed or struggled, but thanks to an impressive amount of stories and tales written before the concept of censorship, Juliet remained calm. She rolled up her glove just enough to get her hand out of it. This one was still hanging limply from the dragon's flank. Juliet started pulling away to get off the platform. The merry-go-round then started abruptly, causing her to fall to the ground.

-Hey, who started the merry-go-round? She heard Jenna screaming.  
-Don't look at me like that! It's not me, Shanice answered.

Juliet holds back crying but it's hard, she fell right on her palms and knees. When she raises her head, she meets the gaze of the beast. Her eyes are open and she knows this expression, she has seen it all her life. But this is the first time it frightens her.

Adrenaline rushes through her body and she gets up. She feels something pulled against her coat and just wants her mother, father and everyone else. She starts to untie her coat but at the same time she hears a sound of ripping fabric and what she thinks is a faint growl. Then she gets away from the dragon. Juliet doesn't even head for the stairs.

-Jenna, catch me!

And she jumps off the platform. Thanks to reflex, speed, and vampire strength, Jenna's doing just fine.

-Hey, don't do that! It's super dangerous, you could've...

Jenna stops as soon as she hears the girl sobbing and the smells blood.

-Juliet, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?  
-I want to go home, is the only thing Jenna gets from her.

Jenna's phone started ringing again. She picks up with one hand, always holding the child with the other.  
-Hi.  
-Jenna.  
-Oh Nadja, I ...  
-Listen to me, you're gonna take Juliet and you're gonna leave the amusement park now.  
-Okay, let me warn the others...  
-No. Just you and her. Make whatever excuse you want, but you're leaving alone! Do you hear me? Quietly but quickly, understand?

Nadja's tone is cold and authoritative, but Jenna can hear the concern, too.

-Yes.   
-Good. You come to our house, okay?   
-But your or... meeting?  
-Don't worry about it. There's a automobile castle near the park with a taxi rank. Take one. If you don't have money, it's fine, we'll pay for you.  
-Alright.  
-Greast, we're waiting for you.

Nadja hung up without saying anything more.

-We're going home, Juliet.  
-Thank you, Juliet mumbled, her face stuck in Jenna's shoulder.  
-Hey, are you okay? Asked Chris.  
-Uh, yeah, Juliet got hurt. I-I think we're gonna go home. Sorry again.  
-Aww, poor little scone, said Ty. -Here, take my hamster. You need it more than I do.  
-Thank you, Juliet said as she accepted the gift.  
-Great with you and Emma, how I'm supposed to... started Josh.  
-I'll stay, moron!We're not all assholes! Scream Emma.  
-Thank,...I'm so sorry," Jenna started.  
-Don't be dramatic, Emma grunted.

Jenna was about to leave with Juliet in her arms when she stopped on her way to Shanice.

*******

-Are you fucking gonna tell us what's going on? Laszlo cried out on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  
-I'm not 100% sure, but it reminds me of something that happened to me a long time ago. In fact, I was still mortal at the time, explain Nandor.  
-So, something that happened over 700 years ago? Not sure if theme parks existed back then? Colin said sarcastically.  
-Shut up Colin Robinson, scold him Laszlo. -You're really going to stuff your face now?  
-It's stress eating, Colin defended himself.  
-So as I was saying, take over Nandor. -I'm not sure how to break this to you, but we're not at the top of the food chain...  
-It's nothing new, the Baron was above us, some werewolves with a bit of luck can win against us, a witch can cause difficulties...began Nadja.  
-No, I mean if we're sharks, what I'm talking about is a killer whale!   
-What then, Lovecraftian horror? mocked Colin.  
-It's not perfect, but it's a good comparison," Nandor acknowledged.  
-What? You can't be serious! Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this? Laszlo shouted.  
-Take your own bloody advice and let him speak! Scolded him Nadja.  
-Thank Nadja. So I was with my army in the desert. We had to change our route because of a storm and the road was longer than expected. Not that we were lost...  
-Extremely specific denial...  
-COLIN ROBINSON!!!!  
-I told you I'm stress eating!  
-One night we stopped near the best-preserved ruins I've ever seen. A palace that seemed to have been abandoned less than a year ago. Everything was in it but the food. The majority of my men are asking to be allowed to spend the night inside. I did not oppose except for my close guard, who I demanded to spend the night with me. 

-You'd rather spend the night outside than with you're soldiers? And they call me a snob, Laszlo complained.  
-I like my comfort and I prefer to be surrounded by all my thing organized if a problem arises," Nandor defended himself.-Finally, there's me, my guards and two other men who decided to sleep outside. I remember asking them why and they just told me that they felt uncomfortable and that the statue of pagan god had upset them. That's as good a reason as any. But during the night, things started to get strange.Several soldiers came out of the palace looking scared. I didn't really take it seriously because it was only a handful of people from the army with me and their stories sounded more like nightmares. I have three men who claimed to have been attacked by a creature that they each described in an extremely different way. One talked about an invisible being, another about an old woman's ghost and the last one about a...female sex with teeth and tentacles.

-Hallucination, sayd Nadja. -And probably some intimacy issues for the last one.  
-I told them to go to sleep and leave the others alone since the spirit or the jinn wanted nothing from them.The next morning, a few soldiers went out to pee or get ready a little in advance but the majority took advantage of the time I gave them to rest. And then it happened.  
-What? ask everybody.  
-I felt the earth tremble and I heard the screams. The palace began to sink into the ground and the doors were blocked. I also learned later that this thing can create glue with his body, no idea with which part and I don't really want to know.All we could hear until the palace disappeared were screams and the sound of broken bones. Later, I met some locals who told me about this monster. He would come out all 30 years old, set his trap, eating sometimes leaving only metal and hair, seems that he does not digest it. He also selects some people that he terrified but spared but who would die in the following years.  
-He curses them? Guillermo asked.  
-No, he separates the good from the bad, says Nadja with horror. -Your three soldiers...  
-Two died of shock in the years that followed and the last one was nicknamed grape because he had so much genital wart that his penis looked like a bunch of grapes.  
-Eww! But died of shock? ask Guillermo.  
-It's code, before the nineteenth century, anyone who died of shock, sadness, shame, etc., just meant cancer and the like," Laszlo explained.   
-Jenna's a vampire, which means she's dead. Nothing really appetizing about her for that creature. And how much do you want to bet that that other girl is sick in way or a other? says Colin. -He only wants young calves and fat pigs...

Laszlo jumped up and screamed: 

-Bat!

The bat tried to fly through the window, but Nandor was faster.He caught Laszlo, who returned to his humanoid form.

-What do you think you're doing? Nandor shouted.  
-Looking for my child, what you think you fucking wanker!  
-Laszlo! Didn't you listen for a bloody minute? Nadja became angry.  
-In fact, I listened and I'm not going to sit here and wait for my daughter to be eaten! Laszlo shouted, still trying to get out of Nandor's grip.  
-Laszlo! scolded Nandor enough to stop the british vampire from struggling for a moment.  
-If you want to fly there, be my guest. Best-case scenario, Jenna and Juliet are already gone, and you can watch the digestion process live. Worst case scenario, they are still there and the creature panics and takes what it can before taking refuge. And given her disguise, we all suspect who her efforts will be focused on if she can only get one. Carousel's not primarily for adults. I just hope for your sake that you can live with your daughter's blood on your hands before Nadja drives a stake through your heart! concludes Nandor.

It calmed Laszlo down pretty quickly. He had given up all fighting. But he pleaded anyway:

-I don't want to lose my bantling.

Nandor can handle yelling, anger, threats and a host of other emotional reactions. But dammit, he's not equipped if Laszlo decides he wants to cry. Well, what would Guillermo do? He knows!

Nandor turned his arm lock into a hug. That should help.

-Nandor?  
-Yes?  
-If we were having an orgy, I'd have no problem with you cuddle me when I'm not wearing pants, but right now... I don't like it.  
-I realize this was a bad idea now.  
-You could release my husband, never speak of this again and we could go wait for the girls outside, said Nadja giving his sweatpants to Laszlo.  
-Good idea, say the men.

As everyone headed outside, Nandor asked Guillermo:

-Was it that bad?  
-Well...  
-No, actually I'd like you to show how you do it, Colin says.

******

-Shanice, said Jenna as she dropped Juliet on the floor.  
-What?  
-I... I just... I just want to say I'm sorry. I know I wasn't the funniest or coolest roommate, that I really scared you when I got sick, that my news were boring to you, that I got mad because you talked about my romantic life, that I...  
-Jenna.  
-Yes?  
-I'm sorry, too. I could have helped you more and since you've always done most of the dishes without complaining, I think you're a pretty good roommate. And don't feel bad about it. You have responsibilities and this is the first time the bad seed acts like a normal kid," laughs Shanice.

Jenna's hugging her. She just wants to tell her to go with them. To run without looking back. But Shanice will want an explanation and Jenna knows that Nadja's tone that leave the park with Juliet will be hard enough. 

-Ok, I'm glad you're more fulfilled, but this is a little weird.  
-Sorry, Jenna said as she let go.  
-See you next Jenna.  
-Bye Shanice. 

Jenna takes Juliet's hand and waves to everyone as she walks. When she's far enough away, Jenna picks Juliet up in her arms and runs as fast as she can until she reaches the exit. Nothing stops her, but Jenna can still feel like eyes following her. She doesn't even lay Juliet down on the ground until she reaches the parking lot by the taxi line. Thank God or whoever was in charge now that she was a vampire, there was a cab available. 

-Hello, little ladies. What are you doing out at this hour?  
-Please just shut up, drive us to this address and don't listen to our conversation," Jenna said, hoping her hypnosis would work despite her stress.

Driver nodded his head, eyes lookeding empty and the girls got into the cab. Silence fills the occasional coupe car with a child's sob. Jenna would have wanted to say something, but she tried not to cry herself.

Juliet's finally talking: 

-They're dead.  
-We don't know that...  
-It's rare to survive when someone looks at you like that.  
-Look at you like what?

Juliet didn't answer and Jenna wouldn't push. That girl had watched her attack and drink people blood without even a hint of discomfort. And she knew the other vampires weren't as neat as she was. What could have terrified her like that? 

Finally, Jenna saw the residence appear and install 5 silhouettes in front of the entrance. Under other circumstances, the picture could have been funny: With the exception of Guillermo, who wore his usual clothes, the rest of the group had atypical outfits. Nadja had a black lace dress with strategically placed openings that leaves little to the imagination, all topped by a pair of horns with red strass on her head. Nandor, on the other hand, was in a printed housecoat decorated with fur, not well close. Laszlo, usually neat in appearance, had a poorly buttoned shirt and jacket, green jogging pants and what Jenna thought were his gardening boots. And Colin Robinson... oh, dear, she was definitely not ready to see him in full leather gear.

The taxi parked near the house and the vampiric tidal wave came. The barred door was opened so violently, it was a miracle that it was not just ripped open.  
-My darlings, said Nadja as she pulled Juliet and Jenna towards her. -Are you all right?  
-Mama! Juliet said as she rushed into her mother's arms.  
-I... I think we okay now, Jenna said while Nadja was kissing her.  
-Excuse me, but where am I, what happened to my taxi and who's paying? asked the driver, clearly uncomfortable in front of the strange group around him.

Guillermo sadly looked at the door before searching his pockets but Colin stopped him.

-It's on me.

Guillermo chose to believe that it was out of the goodness of his heart and not just an excuse to feed on the poor man.

-My turn, love," Laszlo pleaded, taking his daughter from Nadja's arms.  
-Papa!  
-Oh my bantling," said Laszlo as he hugged the girl before her expression changed abruptly. -What's that? He asked, pointing to Juliet's hand that had a scratch on the inside.  
-It's nothing, papa.  
-Nothing? She also has both knees scratched too! he says, pointing to dark spots on her tights.  
-Laszlo, all the children in the history of mankind have skinned their knees, be quiet! said Nadja.  
-Very well. Is this also the norm? Laszlo asked as he ran his fingers through Juliet's coat.

Jenna looks with horror at the coat: five holes in the back as if something had stuck its claws into it to hold the child.

-Laszlo, Nadja, I'm so sorry...  
-You think that's enough, you little bitch? Who knows what could have happened to our daughter because of your irresponsibility! We trusted you, how could you be so dead from the neck up?  
-LASZLO, THAT'S ENOUGH! Nadja growled.  
-No, it's not enough! If she hadn't...  
-If she didn't what? Trying to call us as soon as things got weird? Obeyed without question when she was told to leave? Not knowing what's going on more than we do? Explain to me! And if you want to talk about irresponsibility, you don't have to teach anyone a lesson!

Laszlo turned to his wife, an expression of betrayal on his face, before returning without a word to the house with Juliet.

-Well, it was a tough night for everyone. Shall we go home? Nandor suggested.  
-I'd really like to go home, said the driver.

*******

-Master, wait!  
-What now, Guilermo? I'm tired!   
-What do we do with the monster?  
-He got what he wanted, he's gone now.  
-What? That's it? We can't stop him?

Nandor turned to his familiar, looking unimpressed.  
-Really? And how do you plan to do that?  
-Uh... well, the carousel's probably like a shell for him, that's why he stays inside. He doesn't chase his prey if it's outside. If they destroyed it, it should weaken if it doesn't kill him.  
-And you want to destroy it with what? Because the peasants didn't know how.  
-Uh... I don't think dynamite is good for anyone, we can try it?  
-Guillermo, just because dynamite is a poisonous plant to most creatures doesn't mean it will hurt him. Cows can eat Belladonna and be fine.  
-That's not...  
-That thing got what it wanted, it went into its hole and won't come out again until it's hungry again.You want to the weird guy who watches amusement parks all over the region? Not only will the locals throw rocks at you, but it will take longer to become a vampire!  
-It kills children! I checked where I was, twenty-five years ago! There are eight children, five teenagers and a pregnant woman who were repot missing. You said it didn't like hair and metal. The woman had scoliosis, they put a metal bar in her back. That's the only one they found and that did it to her... says Guillermo, upset.  
-Guillermo, I don't like it either. I wanted to avenge my men, but I had neither the knowledge nor the ability to do so. And I am Nandor the Relentess! Imagine for an a weak human like you! And if you're right , I conclude that unless he had eaten before tonight, his meal of 5 people, one in poor health, was clearly not enough. This could get him out early. But... 

Nandor then had a eureka moment.

\- It's a baby! No, more like a boy! Or girl, whatever.   
-What? Guillermo's ask confusing.  
-The beast is a child! Think about it, Guillermo : He's smaller, hunter weaker preys and let's be honest, he's been far too impulsive and was a little cocky. The hearse song, really? That was some juvenile attention-seeking bullshit!  
-And that makes it okay?  
-Morally? Not really. Natural? Perfectly.

********

-Let's look at the damage," said Laszlo as he began to undress his daughter.  
-There's nothing.   
-Let me be the judge of that. Those claws went right through your coat!

Laszlo obeserved the child's back but the skin was intact.

-There's nothing. We're still gonna take care of your hand and your knees. Where's that stupid kit again?  
-Under the sink.

Laszlo found the first-aid kit and took out what he needed. The girl remains silent while Laszlo cleans and bandages her knees. Juliet finally breaks the silence:

-You were mean to Jenna.  
-I wasn't mean to Jenna. I yelled at Jenna because she put you in danger, Laszlo argued.  
-She didn't know the dragon would try to eat us! And I got hurt when the dragon started the merry-go-round and knocked me down. It's not her fault!  
-All right, she didn't know about the carousel. She dragged you there with her. You stayed even after things got weird, you got on that merry-go-round. You were close enough to that thing to catch you. Do you even realize how lucky you are to be alive?! Laszlo shouted as he showed her the holes in her coat.

The little girl backs away in surprise and starts sobbing.

Congratulations Laszlo, you just made your daughter cry after she almost got eaten. Father of the year. Well, at least he feels bad, so he's got that over his old man. If we go by this criteria, even a rattlesnake is better than that.

-I'm sorry Batling.  
-What?  
-Don't make me repeat myself, I feel like I'm gargled with holy water. I shouldn't have yelled but... You have no idea what you've done to us, Laszlo realised.  
-I'm sorry that I tore my coat and lost my glove. I took it off when he made it sticky.   
-You think I mind? They're just rags. Well, not really, they're clothes worthy of our status, but that's not what I mean.  
-So what did I do then?  
-You made us weak, scared and made us think about a lot of things your father didn't want to think about. You're horribly spoiled and so are we by extension. But this millennium for all its problems, it is really doing its best to try protected the little ones. It's allowed us to make a project with you. Your mother and I would have looked like lunatics just a century ago. You're not supposed to get so attached to something as fragile as a child. Your mother's parents didn't even name their kids until they were three because there was a 50/50 chance they'd die before then. You're my only child, but I had nephews when I was mortel.Fourteen in all, I think. Six died while I was alive. I remember only being feel blue for two. Not that the other four were brats, but you know, between the measles and stopping breathing in their sleep, it was a known risk. Except for Edward, the little idiot ran after it.  
-What did he do?  
-He really wanted to win a game of hide-and-seek so he decided he would climb the gutter and hide on the roof. Let's just say he ended up like Humpty Dumpty.  
-Crack?  
-That's a make splush that high, said Laszlo making the noise too.

Juliet gets a chuckle and Laszlo thinks it shouldn't make him that happy.

-My point is I don't even know what me and your mother would do if we lost you. I can't even imagine it.The only way you can die is by becoming a vampire and you still have a good eleven years before that.  
-Fourteen, I want to go to college.  
-Fourteen, therefore. But what did you mean by sticky before?  
-The dragon, it got sticky and my glove stayed on afterwards.So I just took my hand off the glove and wanted to leave, but he knocked me down.That's why I lost my glove...

Juliet didn't have time to finish what Laszlo had taken in his arms.

-Lucky us, like your parents, you're as smart as you are beautiful, Laszlo said as he hugged her.  
-I'm fine, but Jenna's friends are dead.  
-Nothing is certain.  
-Yes, they are! Hardly anyone survives looking at you like that!" Juliet got angry.  
-What do you mean? What look? ask Laszlo. -Explain it to me.  
-That's not nice.  
-Well, you're lucky. I'm the school of thought that if someone almost got killed, they get a pass for being rude. So go ahead, show me your worst, it's nothing I can't handle.

Juliet hesitated but finally answered:

-He had the same eyes as you.  
-You mean eyes like a vampire?  
-No, they were yellow and black. But the way she looked at him... it was like you, mama, or Nandor sees a virgin. Or Colin Robinson finds out they're having an intern in the office. 

Laszlo didn't see that one coming. For once, he was at a loss for words. This sentence had just done what centuries of orgy had failed to do: so this is what it feels like to think we'll never be clean again. Laszlo must have betrayed himself by his expression because his daughter's next words were:

-Papa, did I hurt your feelings?  
-You've softened me up, not turned me into a italian mourner. It's fine. I just want you to answer me honestly to my next question.  
-Sure.  
-What are you afraid of me? I mean us!  
-No, silly, Juliet laughs. -Why should I be afraid of you? You're my dad!

What a naive and precious answer, Laszlo thought. Was he ever like that? He doesn't remember.

-Show some respect for your father, who just spoke to you as an equal. I wouldn't even dream of this at your age!  
-If you apologize to Jenna.  
-Pardon? said Laszlo surprised.  
-I promised Jenna that we'd all be there for her no matter what! Her best friend is dead and she can't see her human family anymore because they won't accept it. She can't even tell them she's dating mum. You can't make me break a Lady's promises.  
-You can't make a promise like that for a yes or no! Laszlo said angrily.  
-Too late, said Juliet not even trying to look like she regrets her actions.

Laszlo made a frustrating sound before he said:

-I'm gonna try to find a loophole. Get into your pajamas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The creature is MY creation and I'm quite proud of it. I wanted to use it and how I don't know if I'll ever write a book, so I put it here.  
> The Hears Song is a song that dates back to the mid-19th century and gained popularity in the United States at the beginning of the 20th century. Very popular among soldiers, it seems (because imagining your body rotting will give you courage it seems?).   
> The plants recommended by Nadja are what my Wicca books recommend. If it works or it's bullshit, I don't know, I've never met a ghost yet.  
> Colin's information is thanks to the official website of carousel animal collectors (yes, it's a real thing and their site is charming).   
> Also, the story of Laszlo's nephew: That's how one of my grandfather's sisters died and he told the story in the same way. My mother's family are more or less the Addam family if they were rednecks.


	3. Heart open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said in the previous chapter, this was written before season 2 but I can just publish it now. So yeah, I didn't know yet that Nadja's first language was Greek. So the expressions are in Romanian.  
> Also both sentences are insults, more precisely:  
> Rupas-si dumnezeu pula in tine =May God fuck you and break his dick inside of you.  
> Du-te în pizda matii =Go back in to your mother's vulva.  
> Romanians have some of the best insults I've ever heard!  
> Also baby farmer aka Amelia Dyer is a serial killer who makes Jack the Ripper look like an amateur. She's killed between 200 and 400 babies

-Nadja, I'm so sorry, keep crying Jenna.  
-Baby, you didn't do anything wrong! Laszlo was afraid for our daughter and he reacted like an idiot because of it, said Nadja, hugging her. -They can say what they want about our hormones, it's men who are slaves to their emotions. One annoyance and half of them scream like toddlers. 

Jenna had been taken to their crypt, Nadja thought she needed comfort, too.

-I should've... I mean, vampires and werewolves and all the others exist, so...  
-We are 4 vampires with the youngest be 147 years old who come from very different backgrounds. Only Nandor knew the nature of this thing and if me and Guillermo hadn't noticed that something were wrong, he wouldn't have even thought of the possibility! You've only been a vampire for a few months, sweetheart. Give yourself a chance. Also, Leprechauns are a myth and unicorns are extinct, I'm sorry to tell you.  
-Are unicorns extinct because of the loss of their environment or that we stop believing in them?  
-It's more of a case of being delicious and dumb. They were advantage deformed horses with an appetite for menstrual blood that magical guide who wants to be your friend.  
-Oh...Nadja? I'm also sorry I ruined your orgy, I know how important it was to you.  
-You didn't ruined anything, Laszlo, Nandor, Guillermo and Constantin are the only ones to blame. Who knew Colin Robinson would be the only one at his best tonight?  
-And how bad is it?  
-It's bad, but Constantin has agreed to take the brunt of the responsibility. He's ruining the buffet.  
-He ate the virgin on his own?  
-No, but we got to see the virgin stop being a virgin live.  
-Ohhh...Jenna said blushing.  
-Yeah, it's not great. But Constantin and the former virgin seem to like each other very much. And if there's one thing we have in common in our community it's hearing: How did you two meet? Oh, he was supposed to be my lunch, but I love his little face too much.  
-You're guilty of that yourself, smile Jenna.  
-Three time, said Nadja returned her smile.  
-Three?  
-Laszlo, you and my little armadillo. I would never have eaten a child, but that's how we had her. Offered us as a meal. We opted to keep her and eat the delivery girl instead.

Najda's comment suddenly reminded Jenna of the situation. 

-Jenna?  
-They're dead. Shanice, Emma and the others. I let them die, said Jenna started cried again.  
-No, my stupid baby. You don't have...  
-Exactly, I didn't do anything! I could have...  
-Someone would've died tonight whether you wanted them to or not. All that would have happened if you had all tried to run away together, all it would have done was make him desperate. He would have attacked whatever was closest and most appetizing to him. When he attacked you in the haunted house, he realized he'd gone too far and remained calm afterwards. He wanted to get rid of you and one of the girls. The sick one. But not at the risk of losing the others. If Guillermo's information is right, you were already a smaller group than he hopes.  
-I was never in danger, I could have...  
-He wouldn't eat you, but that doesn't mean he couldn't rip your head off if you got in his way! The only reason he dumped Juliet is because he was smart enough to realize that a cupcake wasn't going to fill him up. So, he let the cupcake go with the spoiler meat and concentrated on the rest of the meal, probably thinking that he could probably gnaw on the pieces of the apple that wasn't rotten. Sweetie...  
-I know! I know! I know! I know! I don't have to act like an idiot and I'm a vampire, I kill people too even if I try to kill people who deserve it! Jenna screamed at the top of her lungs.  
-...That's better advice than what I was going to say.  
-What was your advice? Jenna asked.  
-I was going to ask you why are you angry with yourself when you're not angry with me and the others? We made the decision that others could die so that you could live, Nadja smiled sadly.  
-You... you did what you had to do, tempted Jenna.  
-And that makes us less guilty than you because...?  
\- I don't know. I'm just so...

Nadja wiped Jenna's tears and kissed her.

-You have a right to be sad. I know you had a good friend among the victims. You have a right to be angry and to grieve for as long as you need. But don't spend eternity spinning around in your head like it could have been different or punishing yourself for some imaginary mistake. It'll drive you crazy and it won't bring them back. I'm not telling you to stop worrying, just to protect yourself. We all have regrets that we would like to fix. 

Jenna kisses and embraces Nadja, just wanting to feel good again for a moment to forget that night.

******

-Colin Robinson, why are you dressed as a stripper policeman? ask Juliet.  
-We start running out of costume ideas at two meetings a year, explain the energy vampire.  
-Oh I see. Is everyone gone? I could say hello.  
-You've had a big night, bantling, you should go to bed, says Laszlo.  
-I'm not tired, Juliet said a little too quickly.  
-You're not tired, really? said Laszlo as he glanced at Colin.

Juliet shook her head in denial.

-All right, you want to come and see Constantin? I was about to resume my card game with him and Jeremy, Colin asked.  
-Yes.Who's Jeremy?  
-The buffet, but there was a change of plan, Laszlo explained.  
-Good choice of words, Laszlo.

The british vampire growled in his beard but went with them.

Hearing laughter, Colin decided the first question was to make sure everyone was presentable.

-Hey Colin Robinson, Jeremy said as Constantin was wrapped around him. -You want to get back in the game?  
-Maybe, I'm bringing in one more player anyway.  
-Good evening, Constantin, good evening, Mr Jeremy. I'm Juliet. 

Jeremy, in surprise, separated from Constantin, who for his part stood up to approach the child.

-Hey. Colour? ask Constantin.  
-Yellow, I don't feel so good, but I could use a hug, said Juliet. 

Constantin executed himself without asking for anything more. Jeremy passed his surprise, approached to ask:

-Hello, why aren't you well?

Juliet turned to her father with an expression of distress.

-If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, honey.  
-There was an accident near the babysitter's. It was pretty bad, says Colin.  
-Oh...

Jeremy then turned to the child with a proposal:

-I brought mochi for the party, but everyone left before tasting it. Would you like some?  
-What's Mochi?  
-It's like a dumpling with ice cream in it. I've got green tea, thai tea, coffee, mango and strawberry.  
-I'd like to try strawberry, please.  
-Cool, I'll get this ready for you. And then, if you want, I saw that he had a lot of liquid latex...  
-Watch out for the next words that come out of your mouth," Laszlo growled.  
-What do you mean? Jeremy asked confusedly.

Constantin stood up and whispered something in Jeremy's ear.

-Oh, hell no! I'm sorry! I mean that we could use it for crafts. I made my wings for my Hawkman cosplay had these, hangers and papier-mâché.

Laszlo's sure if he bit Jeremy now, he'd still taste the virgin. And damn it, he needs a drink.

-Can we, papa? Please?  
-Sure, go have fun with Colin Robinson, Constantin and Jermy.  
-It's Jeremy...  
\- I don't care.

Next step, find Nandor.

*****

-Nandor?  
-Laszlo! How's the little one?  
-Better than I expected. She's eating sweets and doing crafts with Colin Robinson, Constantin and his new boy toy.  
-Well, that's good.  
-I guess. Where's Gizmo, I need him.  
-He's in his room. I gave him the night off.  
-What? But I need him!  
-Guillermo is MY familiar! And between the virgin and the carousel incident, he's at his wit's end!  
-Damn it. In that case, you're going to help me.  
-Right, what do you need? Nandor said without further resistance to Laszlo's surprise.  
-Uh... just to lower the Baron's coffin and some mattresses into our crypt.  
-What do you want to do with it?  
-Jenna's still not gonna sleep in our closet. I'll put potpourri in the baron's coffin if the smell is too strong...  
-No need, Guillermo washed it. Mine is getting worn out and I thought I'd get it for myself. Just bring it up when Jenna's done.  
-...Alright. I just need the mattresses for Juliet, she's sleeping in the crypt today and before you say anything...  
-I got nothing to say about it.  
-Impossible, you always have something to say," Laszlo said.  
-You know, Laszlo, maybe I wasn't a modern father like you! But that doesn't mean I don't remember what it's like to have kids! Said frustrated Nandor.

He had a moment of silence before Laszlo broke it: 

-It was indelicate of me.  
-Save that for Jenna.

******

Jenna felt a little better, she was in the arms of the woman she loved, safe in what had become her second home.

-Jenna, darling?  
-Yes?Jenna said, sticking closer to her.  
-Someone's going down with Laszlo.  
-Shit!" shouted Jenna as she stepped out of her girlfriend's arms to try to find her clothes.  
-Don't bother for us, said Laszlo appearing with mattresses on his back.

Just as Jenna had managed to put on her panties and T-shirt, Nandor appeared with a coffin that he carried at arm's length. He put it on the floor beford he said:

-It's just a lend, I've got a dip on it. Good day, Jenna.

And he just left. Jenna assumed that at their age and when you have regular orgies, seeing your roommate's girlfriend half-naked is nothing.

-Mademoiselle's bed, Laszlo announced as he put the mattresses on the floor.

Nadja put her dress back on without any stress or embarrassment.

-Do you have something to say?  
-Even Nandor thinks it's a good idea that Juliet...  
-I don't mean that, Nadja continued coldly.

Laszlo had a look on his face like someone was forcing him to drink dirty dishwater. He ends up talking anyway:

-Jenna, I hope you understand that given the circumstances, the stress I was under and other factors, I may have been a little harsh in my tone and in my words...  
-It's all right, Laszlo, I understand and I accept your apology...  
-I'm not apologizing!  
-You are or you can go sleep in the closet, said Nadja threatening.  
-That's enough! I swear it's enough. I don't need more. I just want it to be behind us.  
-Work for me.  
-How's Juliet? Nadja asked.  
-Better than I expected. She doesn't really want to sleep and I'm not going to force her. So she's eating the food that the virgin brought over. And then they're gonna do some crafts with liquid latex with Constantin and Colin Robinson.  
-So our daughter's having fun with three grown men, two of them vampires and the third one a stranger with liquid latex, said mockingly Nadja.  
-Do I have to use my safe word to get you to stop attacking me? Laszlo replied.  
-No, you've punished enough, said Nadja when drawing her husband to kiss him. 

Jenna took advantage of the fact that they were both busy to look at her phone. She hadn't heard from it. Could she text just in case? 

-What are you doing?

Jenna was startled when she saw herself exposed.

-I... I just... I just want to... if they're ever... maybe they're okay?

The fact that the couple looks at her with a sorry look on their face don't help her hope.

-You should at least phrase it like you're not there. You know, in case anyone's wondering if you're more than one worried friend," Laszlo said.  
-Good idea, darling. Do that, baby.  
-Why?  
-Because, silly girl, if your friends are dead or missing and you're the last person to see them, it's suspicious, isn't it? So did you leave anything behind when you went? You were filming, weren't you? Are you in the pictures? Laszlo continued with a clinical voice.  
-I don't think so, I was supposed to help out behind the camera.  
-Are there any security cameras?I know my daughter came home with stuffed animals she didn't have when she left. Are they from the park? Laszlo continued.  
-No, it doesn't," Nadja answered in her place. -And these toys are poor quality dustbags, nothing branded or identifiable, but will can burn them if we need.  
-Well, is there anything else that indicates your presence at the scene? Or our daughter?  
-Josh talked to someone who said the gate would be open for us.  
-Who?  
-An employee, he didn't give a name. Just that the door would be unlocked, that we could be as many as needed but it would only be for tonight. 

The couple looked at each other before concluding:

-The beast?  
-Or someone who serves it.  
-So you're clear about that, he might even clean up after it.  
-Anything else?

Jenna's thinking before she picks up her phone.

-Crap.  
-What wrong? ask Nadja.  
-Ty, she was on her instagram all night. She posted videos.  
-Bloody narcissistic stupidity, grunted Nadja.  
-What time were they filmed? What do they show? Laszlo continued, still surprisingly calm, which Jenna found more disturbing than if he had screamed.  
-Above all, she complained about Josh, made cute videos with Juliet...  
-Good, we've got proof that she's there, and perverts can masturbate to her, Laszlo complains.  
-There's a video from after we left," Jenna realized.  
-That's good! Play it, maybe it confirms your alibi, said Laszlo.  
-And they might be alive, Jenna added hopefully.

Ty was on the carousel sitting on a deer with antlers decorated with flowers.

-So bad news, everyone: I lost my intern. Wounded in action. She came home with her mom's girlfriend. At least the shooting is over and I'll be able to give you some pictures of me and my mounts," she says, clutching one of the antlers. -I... Fuck... my hand! Chris!!!

There was a loud noise and the merry-go-round began to move.

-Who started the merry-go-round? shouted Shanice.  
-No one, have all of them on it," said Emma.  
-Help me, I'm stuck! Josh screamed.  
-We're all stuck! Chris screamed in panic.

Jenna sees something out of the corner of her eye: something long, snaking blue and silver.

-Jenna, close you're eyes, says Nadja, hugging her, but Jenna doesn't listen to her.

She regrets it.

Ty is probably the luckiest because death takes her by surprise and the thing is probably starving so everything is very fast. The others are screaming, stuck like flies in glue. The thing passes to each one more and more slowly, without stress. The last one is Emma. Nadja was right, Emma is a rotten apple. The thing eats the healthy parts and throws the rest away like garbage. Then the thing rolls up on itself and in a crash sound, the screen goes black.

Jenna felt her eyes fill with tears again and Nadja tightened her embrace around her. To his surprise, Laszlo ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to comfort her. He's also the first to break the silence:

-I don't know what kind of rational explanation will be used, but you're in the clear now. My dear, if the little one ask, may I tell her that it was quick and mostly painless?  
-Yeah, do that. Let's put this in the box of things that we're explain when she's older.  
-What am I gonna tell Shanice's parents? Ask Jenna.  
-Depends. There's no body left for her but the fact that the girl with pink hair is still identifiable...Oh, just gave them your sympathy and comfort! said Laszlo as he saw the look in his wife's eyes.  
-You know a lot about criminal procedure," said Jenna wanting to change the subject. -You like the channel of True crime?  
-Enough, some people like to see people humiliated for money or attention. I like to see stupid criminals and police officers who are no better, explain Laszlo.  
-You just like watching documentaries about you," said his wife.  
-WHAT?  
-She exaggerates, I left some bodies lying around at the end of the 19th century and people reacted in a surprisingly emotional way! I mean I know I'm brilliant and talented, but we were talking about 5 people when Babies Farmer was a thing!  
-She was a woman. She clearly wasn't going to get credit for her crimes.  
-Sad but true.  
-Jenna, I'm gonna sound like a rusty record player, but it's not your fault, sweetheart.  
-I know. But I still feel terrible anyway. I don't know how I'm gonna get into our room. I don't want to be alone, but I'd feel awful asking to change rooms. I just... (Sighs)  
-You're going to have to go home at first so people ask as few questions as possible. But then even if it's a little fast ... if you want to come over for a while. If it works for both of you, of course," said Nadja.

The two girls turned to Laszlo, who refused to look back at them. 

-And I'm supposed to say no and not looking like Satan?  
Laszlo's tone misses his usual sarcasm and sounds a little sad.

-I don't want to cause any tension... started Jenna.  
-Stop it.I don't have a problem with you, I even appreciate you. You're more easier to live with than Nandor or Colin Robinson and let's be honest, being mean to you is no fun. It's like kicking a kitten. But...

Nadja broke away from Jenna to approach her husband.

-Darling, what's wrong?  
-It doesn't make sense, I understand that. It' s a young love and it's normal to want to be together all the time. But I'd like to still have you all to myself somewhere!  
-It's okay to be a little jealous, tempted Jenna.  
-I thought your generation was all about not normalizing abuse? said curtly Laszlo.  
-And you that it wasn't fun being mean to Jenna.  
-That doesn't mean it's not easy, Laszlo mocked more gently.-But here's a little life lesson from the undead, Jenna: Nothing's more unfaithful than a jealous amant. For every lover he will invent for you, he will have three himself. And that's a best-case scenario. Let's not talk about people ready to break their toy into a million pieces because someone might want to take it away from you. How many people reduced to a shadow of their former selves or killed in honor of the green-eyed monster? When people say they love a slightly jealous companion , what they mean they want the feeling of protection or the attention they think comes with it.  
-That's all what you want, cub? The feeling of protection and some attention? Nadja asked softly.  
-Maybe, says with embarrassment Laszlo. -I know Jenna's young and she needs help, unlike me, who's experienced...  
-Or then, I have a soft spot for stupid little babies vampires," Nadja laughed softly. -Two stupid babies vampires who had a very bad day, pulling each of her lovers into her arms.  
-What you're asking is reasonable, you know," Jenna said. -You've given me more space to be myself than I've had in my whole life. I'm just super happy to be here. Look, everything I have at home will fit in Guillermo's room, and if I cut back to essentials, then it all fits in a drawer. If you give me a drawer,then you'll never see another trace of me. Nadja, turned me so I know I'm here to stay and that's enough for me.  
-Oh, stop being nice like that! It's disgusting! Laszlo complains. -I still look like the villain!  
-No choice to give him more than one drawer to defend your honor, so said Nadja, giving him a kiss of encouragement.  
-Well, then I want three things 1) exception for today for extraordinary circumstance: it's my room and Nadja's room. We'll make you a room this year and Nadja can sleep there but this is my space for me and my wife.  
-I'll add that I'm walking at my leisure between the two of them. I'm not going to ask permission from either of you to go and see the other," said Nadja.  
-Sure-okay, say the other two.  
-2) I am her husband. I know it is now legally possible between two women but until polygamy is legal again, I am the one who cannot testify against her in court!  
-I'm not ready for marriage anyway. I just want to know if we can go on a vacation together.  
-Were you thinking about something in particular? Nadja asked.  
-Huh...Maybe just maybe go to Vermont with me after finals. I was thinking that... maybe we could kill my ex together? Jenna asked embarrassed.  
-I'd love to! said Nadja smiling.  
-What are we talking about? A week? Two if you're sightseeing too? We've already been gone months on our side, I'll survive, Laszlo assured.  
-Are you going to be a widower? Asked Nadja.  
-Perhaps. Who knew knowing how to do braids attracts so many hungry fannies?  
-A woman takes care of a child, it's her duty and we'll always find something to blame her for. A man takes care of his child, he's a national hero and a line of skanks ready to blow him. Now I'm the jealous one, recognized Nadja.  
-3) Is in fact related to this subject. She's my daughter, I'm glad you love her and want to take care of her. But you're new in her life, I've been here from the beginning and no matter what some people think, I'm doing my best.  
-What's that supposed to mean? Nadja asked dryly.  
-You said I was irresponsible in front of the others to defend Jenna! Laszlo complains.

Nadja sighed before answering:

-Yes, I did. But I was also talking about myself, and even Nandor has a certain degree. I'm not particularly proud of either of us for her last few weeks. Everything went wrong with the Baron.  
-The Baron is your ex-boyfriend who was an evil vampire lord wanting you to take over the world? ask Jenna.  
-She know that? Laszlo asked.  
-She doesn't know anything else about your private life, don't worry, said Nadja.  
-I got nothing to hide.  
-Oh really? So I can talk about the incident of 1711?  
-I told you it was...  
-And I don't believe you, but I think you're cute when you're embarrased.  
-Thanks, but I'll keep making my point. We were in a hostage situation: make her wear a silver crucifix and let her use her stupid " no entry" sign. It was the best we could do.  
-The cardboard thing from the hotels? Does it really work?  
-Yeah, and I'm gonna wish I'd burned it when she became a teenager, said Laszlo.  
-It protects her from the Baron, but not from the bitch, corrected Nadja.  
-The bitch?  
-This familiar. You know the old neighbor who yells at the kids and you're 75% sure that if she catches a child, she'll open his belly and feed the entrails to her cats? asked Nadja.  
-The teacher you had in elementary school that you know just became a teacher to have the right to legally torture children? Laszlo added.  
-The witch in Hansel and Gretel? Nadja continued.  
-If these three women managed to conceive a child in a demonic sex act...their descendants would be afraid of this woman, concluded Laszlo.  
-Could he have done something to her? Jenna asked. -I mean, I know that he's a evil lord vampire...Jenna said but began to realizing how complicated the concept of morality had become in the recent months.  
-He's old, Jenna. Really old, as old as he was there before Christianity was fashionable, Nadja explained. -The vampire that he was centuries ago and what he's become are two very different people.  
-Well, that explains it, but it doesn't excuse it, Laszlo replied. -That bastard threw me against a wall, threatens to cut off my dear lady wife and talks about my daughter as if she were a puppy. He can go Rupas-si dumnezeu pula in tine!  
-You're so bloody happy I taught you that.  
-That and Du-te în pizda matii, smile Laszlo.  
-What do you mean puppy? ask Jenna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read on tumblr an analysis I like very much about Nadja and Laszlo: their relationship works but they need to be more honest with each other or at least talk about it. Which is probably harder than it looks because of when they were born. Nadja comes from a time when if she was unfaithful, Laszlo could have killed her with HER family to cheer him up. She knows he won't, but that doesn't mean it's not something that's engraved in her. And just as having mistresses was seen as normal for men in Laszlo's time, having emotional needs seemed ridiculous. Laszlo may not even know how to explain that he feels neglected or in need of comfort.  
> And as a polyamorous person, I can tell you in real people like that (not just I want an excuse to go somewhere else but not you or I'm ok open as long as it's exclusively with hot girls or guys I've chosen for us), the rare jealous outbursts usually come from emotional connections. Having loud sex in the side room, I don't care. Go see that movie we really wanted to see together with someone else without warning, you're done! It's okay to say that we need limits or that there are things that make us uncomfortable.


	4. Meet Grandpa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedushka means grandfather in Russian or can even be used to respectfully address an elderly man. Because thanks to my half-Russian friend, I learned that Afanas is a real (albeit rather old-fashioned) Russian name.

ONE MONTH AGO

-I don't know, Baron. We could be your children.  
-Yes!  
-That means that now you are not only a dad, but also a granddaddy! Nandor laughs.  
-What do you mean? The Baron asked.

Nandor did not noticing the panic in Nadja's face continued:

-Nadja and Laszlo have a child. So, if they're your children, she's your granddaughter. Hey, if you're brother and sister now, that means she's a product of incest, right? Ha, everybody's adopted, so I guess who cares?

But the Baron no longer listens to him, turning his attention to Nadja and Laszlo.

-A child? Really? It's the little human that's been hanging around your house?  
-Yes, Baron, it's our child, said Nadja.  
-Well, does that blessing have a name?  
-Juliet Henrietta Cravensworth, Laszlo answered.  
-From Lule and the house of a king, someone has ambition for her! laughed the Baron.  
-We just thought it was pretty. And the Henrietta is for Laszlo's sister, says Nadja.  
-And how did you get your beautiful baby? It's not a dhampir?  
-Of course not," began Nandor, who had just realized his companions' discomfort.

The baron silenced him with a wave of his hand.

-Did you use descendants or just humans that you considered adequate to breed what you wanted?  
-No, we... we were given her... By a familiar who thought it would be a meal worthy of the name, explain Laszlo.  
-I killed her. And that baby just had the sweetest laugh I've ever heard. She was in Laszlo's arms, and he cleaned her up because of the blood in her face. I just knew I wanted that, Nadja smiles as she looks at her husband.   
-So she earned her place laughing in the face of death. Not a bad way to pick her. You'll will introduce me to her when we get home tonight.  
-Of course, Baron.

He'd have forgotten when he got home...

...He hasn't forgotten.

-We missed you, Colin Robinson!  
-What's wrong with you?  
-We're on drugs!  
-Have you ever tried pizza pie?  
-Mama? Papa? Nandor? What aren't you in your coffins?

Juliet's there in her pajamas, eyes still tired, confused.

-Oh, honey, did we wake you up? It's okay, I'll put you back to bed, Nadja says quickly trying to hide that she's looking for her words.  
-Have you forgotten what I asked you? the Baron asked coldly.  
-Baron, it's a school day," Laszlo weakly attempted.  
-Quiet, he commands.

Then, with a charming tone, addresses the little girl.

-Come, child. I want to see you better.

Juliet obeys and approaches. The Baron picks her up without hesitation and sits her on his lap in a terrifying parody of what a grandparent would do. Nandor holds Nadja's wrist so tightly that she would have bruises if she were still alive. Laszlo holds her other hand, trying to put on a brave face.

-Juliet, right?  
-That's my name, Baron Afanas.  
-You don't have to be so formal, you can call me Dedushka.  
-De-dush-ka, Juliet repeated.  
-Good pronunciation. In fact, open your mouth for me, I want to verify something.  
-Baron please...  
-I said quiet!

Juliet still obeys but clearly uncomfortable. The baron lifted her lips and looked at her teeth.

-Her teeth look fine, but she' s missing two...   
-It's these baby teeth, they're supposed to fall out and the adult teeth replace them, explain Colin Robinson. -That's normal.  
-Ah, well. As long as it's not scurvy. She'll get new teeth when she's a vampire regardless. Her skin and hair are good, too. How old are you? He asked as he released her mouth.  
-Se-Seven.  
-A bit small and skinny for her age, isn't she?  
-She's just a petite figure, said Nadja. -I will never deny her food.   
-It was quite small myself before puberty, Nandor says. -And at 14, I can't stop growing. Maybe she' s the same.  
-Sickness? Defects? asked the Baron.  
-I beg your pardon? ask Laszlo.  
-Asthma, epilepsy, or some other similar nonsense?  
-No, nothing. She's full of life.  
\- Good. Now, small wonder, I'd like to ask you a few questions.  
-Off course, Dedushka.   
-How would you like vampires to be the ones controlling the world?  
-Yes. I wish we didn't have to hide and say what really happened. I hate all the mistakes in history class.  
-That must make you mad.  
-Vaguely annoying, Juliet answered.   
-You wish your parents were the masters of America?  
-With Nandor?  
-Yes, sure, why not?  
-Yes. It'd be cool to be in charge and that would make me some kind of princess, right?  
-Even without it. I mean, Evan calls himself the immortal princess of the undead when the only thing her father ever ruled over were the pigs on their farm, mocked the Baron. -If you kill and terrorize enough people, they'll call you whatever title you want, continued the Baron, caressing the child's face.  
-Is there a power you'd like to have when you're transformed?  
-You never know... Juliet started.  
-We're talking for the sake of talking's. If you could choose, what would you want?

Juliet thinks before she answers:

-I think I'd like a power like Nandor. To be able to manipulate an element.  
-One in particular?  
-Electricity! You can use it to attack people, but you can also power machines, start fires and a lot of other things.  
-Not a bad choice. I have one last question for you and I really want you to be honest with me about it," said the Baron, his eyes shining brightly.

Juliet's eyes turn blank as she falls under his hypnosis. The only thing that prevents Nadja from throwing herself at the Baron is that she knows full well that none of them will have time to take heir child for the Baron beford kills her.

-What would you do if I killed your parents and Nandor but let you live? he asked her, holding her face in his hand.  
-Well, that depends, Juliet replied mechanically. -I would avenge them, preferably by destroying everything you love and giving you a slow death. But I know it's going to be hard since you're know as the Undying so worst-case scenario, I'm just gonna kill you outright.

He had a moment of silence before the Baron started laughing:

-What a precious little creature! Charming and brave like her mother. Vicious and witty like her father. Transformed her as soon as you can legally! What is it now? I know they raised it a century or two ago. Fifteen years?  
-Eighteen years old, it's 18 now, Nandor answered.  
-It's a shame, though, that you don't know which heifer she's from.   
-There are sons of whores who have done more than sons of kings, says Laszlo.  
-Oh, it's not afraid of her bastardise that I'm saying this. On the contrary! Although I'm sure your influence helped, there must have been some good quality clay first. I might have been tempted to take one from the same litter if you know the mother.

Juliet coming out of her trance, confused.

-Dedushka? What did you want to ask me?  
-I just wanted to know if you like pizza pie? said the Baron softly.  
-I love it! It's my favorite food!  
-You're a girl of taste then," he said, resting her on the floor. -Go back to your parents.  
-Yes Dedushka.

Nadja, freed by the other two, wanted to take her daughter but Colin was faster.

-Take care of your guest, I'm taking her to brunch, Colin said with an icy tone.  
-I'm going to change...   
-No need, just get your shoes and coat.  
-Alright. 

PRESENT

-I still can't believe he's did this," Laszlo grunted.  
-Take our daughter out of a home where a mentally unstable ut powefull vampire and all the other responsible adults were drunk and drugged to the point of not remembering anything the next day? What a monster! Nadja replied.-If we hadn't looked at the footage after the trial, you wouldn't even remember it.   
-Yeah, well...He left her alone at our trial!  
-In his ex's home, a woman who, according to our daughter, even if she was the living embodiment of someone who cried loudly in the subway, was a trustworthy person.

-The Baron, what he's trying to prove ? ask Jenna.  
-His control, his authority or worse, he was just trying to be nice, says Najda.   
-Maybe a combination of all of these," Laszlo added.  
-My opinion is just that we could have done better, concluded Nadja.  
-I'm still a better father than mine, Laszlo defended himself.  
-Laszlo, your father pushed you down a flight of stairs saying it would have been better for your mother to have a miscarriage.  
-And surprisingly, it wasn't my worst birthday.  
-I think you're doing the best you can," says Jenna.  
-Well, our best has to get better," Nadja replied.  
-Just saying that shows you're a better-than-average mother," Jenna continued. -Most parents don't even want to admit that they make mistakes.  
-Oh, baby, said Nadja kissing her again.  
-So, am I going to read for half an hour or...? Laszlo asked.  
-No need, I'm tired and I just want my loves by me here.The day is coming anyway, I'm gonna go find Juliet, I need my child.   
-I'd also like to do something before I go to bed," said Jenna as she continued to get dressed.  
-It better be quick, the sun's coming up in a little over an hour, warn Laszlo.  
-I'll be quick, it's 15 minutes away, 5 if I fly.

*****

-What a night! said Jeremy  
-I'm glad you had fun," said Guillermo.  
-And look! -said Jeremy, showing him a piece of paper. -Constantin left me his number! He wants to see me again!  
-It's great!  
And Guillermo means it. Just... don't make Jeremy become a vampire before he does.

-You know, you could have told me.  
-What are you talking about?" asked Guillermo suddenly worried.  
-Guillermo, it's cool. I found out some things about myself tonight. And I wouldn't have changed our relationship if I'd known about you. It's okay if you're not ready to talk, I... look, I understand why you wanted to distance yourself from everyone, but you're my friend and I accept you for who you are.

Guillermo looked at him for a moment before smiling and saying:

-If all goes well, I'll have something to announce next year.  
-Great, but don't hesitate to come over and hang out first, promise?  
-I promise.

As Guillermo greeted Jeremy, he saw Jenna arrive with a box in one hand and a tray in the other.

-Jenna? What are you doing out here? The sun comes up in 20 minutes!  
-I just wanted to give you this. You probably won't go to bed right away so I figured you could use the energy.  
-You got me doughnuts?  
-I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got a little bit of everything. I also have coffee, tea, juice and water...  
-Why? he asks confused.  
-You work hard for everyone, I thought that... I mean, it's okay if you don't...  
-Thank you, Jenna, said Guillermo, seeming moved.  
-Nah, you're the one we should be thanking.

******

-Jenna! scream Juliet.   
-She's here, in one piece, can you please go to bed now, Laszlo asked.  
-Look what I've done! Says Juliet pointing to a pair of purple bat wings.  
-That's so cool! Did you do it by yourself? Jenna asked.  
-Jeremy helped me a little. Colin Robinson made pigeon wings and Constantin...I don't know what he did, he just wanted to show it to Jeremy but I think he liked it.  
-That's good, sweetheart. But the sun's coming up, and I think everybody needs some sleep, said Nadja.  
-All right, Juliet said as she settled into her makeshift bed. 

Nadja tucked the child in before kissing her on the forehead.

-You got everything you need? Blanket, pillow, someone we left upstairs?  
-I'm good.  
-Perfect.Sleep tight, sweetheart.  
-Good night, Mama.

Laszlo's went next.

-Sweet dreams, my princess. Feel free to knock on my coffin if there's a problem.  
-But you're gonna be tired and i'm big girl now.  
-Yes, but even if you may be a big girl, you're still my baby.  
-You win the argument. Good night, Papa.  
Jenna, feeling a little intruded, tried to figure out how the (really cool, she had to admit it) coffin opened.

-Jenna? Can you please come? ask Juliet.  
-Yes, of course! You want to say good night to me too?  
-Yes, where are my manners? Good night, Jenna. Also... I'm sorry your friends are dead. Especially Shanice, I wasn't very nice to her.  
-That's all right. I think your personalities just weren't compatible, but thank you.   
-I'm gonna name my owl after her and Emma and my hamster after Chris and Ty.   
-And Josh?  
-...I'm out of new Plushis and it wouldn't be fair to rename someone else who already has a name he likes.   
-Okay. Good night to you too.

Jenna redirected herself to the coffin and Nadja touched the snake's head, causing the snake to move and open the coffin.

-Awesome," whispered Jenna.  
-Sleep well, darling, said Nadja.

Jenna sleeps surprisingly well. The only thing that wakes her up a little during the day is the sound of a small heart beating rapidly, but she also hears the sound of a coffin lid opening. Boundaries," remembers Jenna and she's going back to sleep.

The next night, Jenna's up first. She decides she's gonna find where she could plug in her phone. It must have a plug in the living room.

-Jenna, I'm glad you're up.  
-Guillermo? What can I do for you?  
-I just wanted to give you this, he says, pointing to a laundry basket. -These are victims' clothes that I washed, I try to donate them to the salvation army when I can, but I figured you could wear some while I wash yours. You've been in the same clothes since yesterday...  
-Oh, that's right! I'm gonna get something my size! Thank you!

Jenna traded in her clothes for clean underwear, a t-shirt that says Virgin until I get married and a pair of jeans. Guillermo also showed her where to plug in her phone and then they left to join the vampires who had also woken up in the kitchen.

Nandor sits on a chair still in his bathrobe drinking blood from his sypcup. Nadja is also seated at the table in what Jenna supposes to be a casual outfit for her but still makes her look ready to go to the ball.Laszlo had followed her lead. Colin was also in a dressing gown with pajamas underneath and next to the fridge.

-Good night, everyone.  
-Hello, Baby, did you sleep well? ask Nadja.  
-Better than I expected.  
-Nice shirt, Jenna, but not very honest," Laszlo scoffed.  
-Neither does the person it originally belonged to, says Nandor.

Juliet appears in the kitchen still in her pajamas and with a doughnut in her mouth. She waved her hand to Jenna before stepping into her mother's lap.

-Who gave my child a loaf of bread filled with sugar and colouring as the first food of the night? complains Laszlo.   
-I found it in the fridge," replied Juliet while Guillermo looking suspiciously the other way.  
-Laszlo, remind me again what did you eat breakfast with when you were alive? said his wife.   
-I was 20 years old, my midlecris was happening, he defended himself.  
-Everyone's going to eat trash anyway today, says Nandor. -We just have some leftovers left, sorry Jenna.  
-It fine.  
-Nandor, it's mean to call Laszlo trash, said Colin in a falsely horrified voice.

Laszlo, without missing a beat, put one hand over his daughter's eyes and used the other to make a V with his fingers towards the energy vampire.

-Hey!  
-Laszlo!  
-Real mature.  
-You know you just gave me the equivalent of a plate of bacon in energie, right?  
-It was worth it.

The blood that's left is somewhere between cold old pizza and microwave ramen. She's a student, so it's not that upsetting. Jenna should feel bad after everything, but... it's comfortable here. She's surrounded by blood-drinking monsters and never felt more at home.What little tension with Laszlo and Guillermo who had left with her is gone. She's with her loving girlfriend. Her daughter likes her and she's giving her back. Nandor does his best to be nice to her. Colin Robinson is nibbling away at her energy, but hey, at least it's attention. 

She'll text her mom after lunch to say she's not coming home. She's already there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thing with the teeth really happened to my dad when he got a scholarship to private school. He talks about it as one of the most humiliating moments of his life. He was one of the brightest students in his school and an accomplished artist before he was 12 years old (he can realistically draw what he wants extremely quickly) but fuck that if those teeth weren't perfectly straight.   
> Also Afanas is short for Afanasii which means immortal. Yes, the Baron's name is literally Immortal the Undying...I have a feeling someone's not gonna stay dead for long.  
> In one of the trailers we see Laszlo in a painting making a V with his hand behind a corpse. It's probably just a joke but it was a real sign in England at the time of Laszlo. But the meaning wasn't victory, peace or rabbit ears. It meant, go give oral sex to a woman in a more vulgar way. Also learned by the same person that the middle finger was invented in ancient Greece and had more or less the same meaning as today. Who said that history was boring?

**Author's Note:**

> Sentence in French:  
> Ma Muse = My Muse  
> Oui, ce n'est pas parfait mais c'est mieux que le tien, enfoiré de fils de chienne =Yeah, it's not perfect, but it's better than yours, you son of a bitch!  
> Enchanté=Pleased to meet you  
> Oui, je parle un tout petit peu de français. =Yes, I speak a little bit of French.  
> L'amour après la guerre =Love after the war


End file.
